Take a No challenge with me….

Take a No challenge with me….

“Setting healthy boundaries means sometimes saying, no” Rae Shagalov.

Have you ever said yes and then realized you should have been honest and said no? Yes I can is so easy to say to customers, spouses, relatives, church fellows and all. However, you may find out later that you are burning out or hating your very job that you ‘love’. It is OK to say no in order to balance out your life. Just because you have said no to a client, colleague or a relative does not necessarily mean they are booking you down so that they revenge later. Healthy relationships I believe should be based on trust and honesty. When someone genuinely says no I cannot do this for you, it is better than a yes and then fail to do it.

One of my resolutions this year was to ensure that I took up assignments that are in line with my goals for the year. Due to this choice I have declined several requests from family, friends and even industry colleagues. It is systematic and very contextual so don’t copy me blindly here! My no is so that I get time to pursue my education goals, my spiritual goals, family and also just to breathe. Sometimes I simply say no so that I spend time with my family and not be the absent mother. Sometimes I say no I can’t because financially I cannot commit to it and I already have other financial commitments. The reasons I say no can be personal and I may not need to explain further. If it is business issues where an explanation is required, I give it. Culturally, I have realised saying no is considered disrespectful, especially if instruction is from elders or parents. I have seen people getting work stress as they say yes to every project they are asked to do. I have seen people depressed just because they failed to say no I can’t spend the holiday with you in the rural area because I had made prior plans with my family. I have seen people painfully contribute a cow they do not have to an uncle’s daughter’s wedding because they could not say no, we are financially constrained at the moment. I could list so many examples, but these are my recent experiences. Stop just saying yes, think and if it is a yes, let it be a happy and confident yes, but if there is a seed of doubt, say no! It is purely ok.

bty

Yes you can go an extra mile for your business, especially for your clients but do not allow people to take advantage of you and take on more than you can handle. Learning to say no will keep you and your relationships very healthy.

To your success

Mellany

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